Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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