how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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