I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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