yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I supernannyed him into submission
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
