careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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