What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he laminated a picture of his dick.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize