I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
