I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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