omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
