also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
