i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
