my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
