are you so shy because you have an std?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
