kristin has been a bad kristin
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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