Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
