I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
