Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
