You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
