Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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