i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There's even glitter on my cock...
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