am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
