i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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