I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize