You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
