How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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