Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
