i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
