i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize