I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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