At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
