you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
