matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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