i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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