No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
