last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
