I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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