i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
