i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
