New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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