are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
