I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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