If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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