We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
