This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
