i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do herpes really smell.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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