he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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