in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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