Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
