Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
