Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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