omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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