I wanna bring you to show and tell
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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