we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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