11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
In America we eat man semen.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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