This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
