My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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