i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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