hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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