The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
