The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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