Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
wow bdsm is so cute
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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