bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
