I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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