I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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