I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
