Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
