Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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