Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
