So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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